Apparently I am unhappy - according to my husband.
Today I worked at my J.O.B. for 12 hours. I am a salaried employee so that pretty much means the more I work, the less per hour I make. I am completely swamped and there seems to be no end in sight. My quality of life in the last two weeks has diminished. I wake up, eat, shower, drive to work, work 9 to 11 hours, drive home, eat, sleep. I am a really exciting and fun person to be around right now.
Problem is, I have thrown all my resolutions out the window by just trying to get through the day. I am exhausted. I am cranky. I am miserable.
I am frustrated because I have been trying to sew a Steampunk outfit for a Calender shoot this Sunday. Folks, its just not gonna happen.
Now, I can sew and sew well. I have make ski jackets and formal dresses. Problem is I am lumpy and sewing for a lumpy body requires alterations of patterns and garments. I just don't have that kind of time and am so tired my eyes burn.
Something has got to give. I need to put myself first. I need to say no to the Calendar shoot even though it is going dissappoint people. I am desperately looking for a way to find balance. I need to learn to say "no".
My thoughts are jumbled and rambling but I just needed to put something down on virtual paper. Maybe things will look better in the morning - at oh dark thirty!